Stonehenge not only gave me the tools to be the woman I am today, but also gave me memories and connections I would never trade for all the gold in the world!!
I was recently asked, “So how bad did it get?” and my immediate response was: “Bad!” The first time I was arrested I thought things were bad, but because I kept using, “bad” was just the beginning.
As much as I knew that putting down the drugs and alcohol would solve 90% of my problems – I still couldn’t do it. After two suicide attempts, multiple arrests and losing the love of my life, my son, I still kept living in hell, NEVER asking for help. And those are just physical things. I also gave up my self-respect, lost any trust others had for me and stopped caring for anyone or anything, especially myself. I eventually ended up with a federal jail sentence. Life was miserable for a lot of years.
By nothing short of a miracle, on my earliest eligible date I was day-paroled to Stonehenge Therapeutic Community. I didn’t know it then but that was the first day of the rest of my life.
Five years ago I first walked through the doors of Stonehenge – the doors that changed my life. Addiction was the way I lived my life for 15 years prior to that day. To say the least, healthy living was a very foreign concept. I was fortunate to have all the motivation in the world. My number one motivator was my son; the second was the fact that my current address was a federal institution. A person may think that being a mother would have been enough motivation to get clean and sober but my inner addict was strong and won time and time again. In active addiction I became a professional liar, a thief, and justification artist. It’s crazy when I look back and think about how I thought I had everyone fooled!! The only person I ever did fool was myself. Before I was ready to get honest with myself and do some actual work, I had no hope at a life. I thank my higher power for giving me the lifesaving opportunity of being a Stonehenge resident!
I was a resident at Stonehenge for six months. It was immediately obvious to me that this was a very strict program and in no way would I be able to get away with sitting back while the days went by. I thankfully made a mental commitment to put 100% of myself into each phase of the program. I don’t think I could ever put into words how much Stonehenge gave me………and 5 years later……..is still giving me! The other women in the house, as well as the staff, were equally instrumental to my recovery. As I sit and write this I realize how much words can never do justice in expressing how much love and respect I have for the Stonehenge program and community. Each man and woman I met through STC left footprints in my life.
Recently, four years after finishing Stonehenge, out of the blue, I received a message that was in no way short of a miracle! A woman who I did the program with contacted me to thank me for “planting the seed”. As much as this person thought she was giving me thanks, what she gave me was strength – strength that I needed in that exact moment. That is how Stonehenge works, and continues to work even after you’ve left the program.